What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Can I use the LEG PRESS to build muscle?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What was the hottest inappropriate sex you ever had?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why in my 60s do I have a strong desire to suck cock and swallow?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What could be the result if I block a covert narc back after he said blocks were going back up, maybe we try this again?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

How do people develop stage 4 cancer without noticing until it’s too late?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why do many Hong Kong Chinese look different from the Han Chinese in mainland China?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

How can you tell if someone or someone's is trying to recruit or at least test you for a secret organization?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why are Boomers so vehemently opposed to student loan forgiveness?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What is the difference between anxiety and depressive neurosis?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Make Nazis afraid again!

What was your wildest experience as a lesbian?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why did my ex-narcissist move so fast with his new supply marriage engagement moving in, etc.?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”